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Before, during and after the run

 

Thoughts before the run:

 

  • I ran yesterday, no use pushing it.
  • My knee feels a little funny, I should give it a day off.
  • I think I might have a little blister. I should rest it.
  • I have a lot of errands to run, so I better not overdo it.
  • It looks crappy out, might as well wait until tomorrow.
  • It’s going to be a long weekend, I’ll get plenty of exercise.
  • Not everyone is supposed to be skinny.
  • I worked so hard to lose the weight in 2006. In the end, I just got fat again. Why bother?
  • I look good chubby.
  • I will just gain back any calories I burn by eating crap and drinking booze.
  • I should wait until tonight, because Sarah may want to go for a run.
  • I should wait until tomorrow and run on the treadmill…for my knees.
  • I should do the dishes.
  • I should do some reading.
  • I should practice guitar.
  • I should check Facebook.
  • I should do some writing.
  • I should watch a movie.
  • I should run in a few hours, might as well get some rest now.
  • I might need some new running shoes. No use risking it on old soles.
  • I already ran twice this week. That’s good enough.
  • I hate running.

Thoughts during the run:

 

  • I’m a fat bastard.
  • I need to wear baggier t-shirts.
  • I’m not a jogger, I’m a localized earthquake.
  • I must be at least a B cup.
  • Running with this stomach is like trying to jog with a dwarf hanging onto your hips.
  • I’m not a person, I’m a bag of jelly in a t-shirt and shorts.
  • Those people are laughing at me.
  • Those other people are laughing at me.
  • Is that chick laughing at me?
  • This isn’t a run, it’s a short warm up.
  • If Gerrard 2006 could see Gerrard 2011 he’d be mortified and disgusted.
  • I really don’t need half of the neighborhood to see me huffing and puffing and slobbering on myself.
  • That chick is a real runner, I’m going so much slower than she is.
  • I hate sweating.
  • I’m old.
  • I hate this.
  • I’m never running again.
  • This is stupid.
  • I’ve run far enough, it would be cool to stop now.
  • I quit.

 

Thoughts after the run:

 

Sexual chocolate!

 

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